Something Sparkly This Way Comes
by butterflydarlin
Summary: There are some new vampires in town, but Buffy is having a hard time believing they're really any sort of threat; Drusilla wants to keep them for her own. A crack!crossover with Twilight.
1. Skin, Thy Name is Disco Ball

Disclaimer: _Buffy _is not mine. _Twilight _is not mine and nor do I want it to be. This is pure, epic crackfiction, and is set in the Buffyverse, somewhere between "Lie to Me" and "Surprise" in season 2. Reviews taste like candy and I like candy.

***

In the little town of Forks, Washington, a group of marble-skinned vegetarian so-called vampires who banded together under the last name of their patriarch, Carlisle Cullen, had recently been accosted by some of the less-friendly of their species. This savage trio was after the broodingly handsome young vamp Edward's human girlfriend, Bella Swan, who had recently moved to Forks from the much more exciting town of Phoenix, Arizona. Bella was plain and thin, with brown hair, and was known to be gawkily clumsy, but even so she and Edward were completely, irrevocably in love.

The group – among them Carlisle, a stunningly handsome doctor, Esme, his beautifully motherly wife, coldly beautiful Rosalie and her largely muscle-bound paramour Emmett, quietly shocked-looking and handsomely scarred Jasper and his beautifully pixielike love Alice, not to mention Edward and Bella – had been found by the obviously evil James and his two companions, the beautifully feral Victoria and the darkly handsome Laurent, while playing baseball during a thunderstorm. After all, Forks was a small town and there was very little else to do, and baseball is the American pastime.

Following the attack, the group retreated to the Cullen family mansion, a gleamingly glass-walled paradise right in the middle of the densely populated Washington forest. They were constructing a plan.

"Where would James never think to find you?" Carlisle asked Bella seriously. "You need to get out of here for your own safety."

"I could go to my mom's house in Arizona," Bella suggested lamely.

"Oh, yeah, he'll never find you _there_," Rosalie muttered sarcastically. Bella still felt as if the beautiful blonde disliked her, though she could not imagine why since everyone in the small town of Forks seemed to love her immediately upon introduction.

"But it's so warm and bright," Bella protested weakly. "He'd never go there."

Alice's topaz eyes went dark and immediately Jasper was at her side, clutching at her small, pale hand. She was having a vision, as she often did, having had premonitions even before she became a vampire.

"What is it, Alice?" Esme asked concernedly.

"I think I see where Bella will go," Alice murmured, in a trance. "It _is _bright –"

"Told you," Bella said tauntingly, then flushed, embarrassed to have shown any sort of personality around the marble-skinned vampire family.

"I love your beautifully pink human blush," Edward told her softly, smiling his crooked smile.

"But it's not Arizona," Alice continued impatiently. "It looks more like California to me."

"California?" the others chorused confusedly.

Rosalie, Esme and Emmett stayed in Forks to throw the excellently skilled tracker James off of Bella's sweet human scent while Alice and Jasper drove the smaller of the Cullen family's glimmeringly silver SUVs down the coastline. They sped in their vampiric, thrill-seeking way, as Bella dozed fitfully in the backseat. Edward and Carlisle followed in Edward's shiny silver Volvo, at a respectful distance.

It took approximately six hours for the speeding vampires to arrive in Southern California, and Alice excitedly slammed her petite hands against the dashboard to herald their arrival. "This is the place I saw," she cried gleefully. "This is the hotel I envisioned."

"Mmmmmppffff," Bella said sleepily.

Jasper nodded stoically, then pulled the SUV over in the parking lot. The sun had not yet risen, so while Alice went inside the small motel, joined by Edward and Carlisle, who began hauling the shopping-addicted Alice's many suitcases into the lobby, Jasper went to get Bella out of the car. He did not need to use his vampiric empathetic abilities to calm her down, as she was still half asleep and had also taken NyQuil, the effects of which had not yet worn off. He shrugged, considered picking her up, then decided against it. She smelled too good. Instead, he poked her until she woke up.

Alice skipped back outside in her pixielike way, holding room keys. "Let's head upstairs," she chirped. "Edward and Carlisle are already getting settled in."

A group of burly, leather-clad men skulked around the corner, observing the young teens in the parking lot. "Out-of-towners," the largest of the men chuckled to the others.

"Want a snack before bedtime?" the smallest and wittiest one asked, baring his fangs and revealing his true face, his vamp face, which was infinitely more terrifying than anything that any of the Cullen clan had encountered in their many years of alleged vampirism. The other men followed suit, surrounding the three youths instantaneously.

Bella screamed weakly, hiding behind Alice and Jasper wussily.

"Run, Bella!" Alice shrieked, handing her the room key. Bella ran towards the door, tripped over the welcome mat, twisted her ankle and hurried inside. Alice and Jasper stared down the vamps with unblinking topaz eyes, holding hands to show their true love.

"New here, aren'tcha?" the leader of the group asked.

"What do you want?" Jasper asked taciturnly.

"Just lookin' for a snack," the witty vamp smirked.

Alice looked as Jasper panickedly. "I didn't see this coming," she exclaimed, then felt Jasper calm her like a drug. She eyed the vamps suspiciously. "You know, you're out of luck. I don't think we've got what you want to snack on."

They fought unspectacularly in the parking lot until the sun came up, at which point Alice and Jasper began to sparkle and the rough-and-tumble vamps' skin began to catch fire. They hurriedly ducked into the nearest sewer. Alice and Jasper shrugged and went inside.

At a distance, this altercation was witnessed by a very perplexed blonde with a stake at the ready. "What the --," she muttered, observing the glittery skin of these newcomers. She then yawned and began her walk home, storing the stake in her back pocket.

***

Meanwhile, the aforementioned pack of vamps entered their lair and found their master and mistress in a wild uproar. "Oooo, there's somethin' on its way," said mistress, the fearsome, crazy, but currently invalid Drusilla, announced. "Bringing a shine like the stars but it doesn't shine at night, oh no."

"Dru, pet, should we be worried?" her childe and lover Spike, alias William the Bloody, asked in a somewhat petulant tone, unsure whether or not to take his oft-crazed princess seriously.

"Mmm, they come like a caravan, dripping silver like it's rainwater and they've been caught in a nasty, nasty storm," Drusilla continued, wrapping her arms around Spike's waist and playfully nipping at his shoulder.

"Who _are _they, princess?" Spike muttered, angling his head to look at her.

"Such fragile things on the outside, oooo yes, but that's all just a blinding mask, and _some _of us have been deceived by their nasty lies," Dru proclaimed, waving a hand in the general direction of the thuggish vamps without really looking at them. "Naughty children playing so rough with the new boys and girls, mmm?"

"They seemed pretty strong," the toughest of them shrugged.

"One of them made a run for it, though," the witty one pointed out. "A girl. Looked seventeen or so."

"And the others?" Spike asked with a raised eyebrow.

"About the same age," the third vamp said.

"Bloody hell," Spike growled, causing Drusilla to smile and moan softly. "Not bad enough you get beaten to a pulp by the Slayer regularly, now you're getting punched out by bloody _stranger kids_?"

"They're weak, Spike," Drusilla piped up, teetering towards the three thugs with an evil little smirk. "They need punishing, oh yes, p'raps a good thrashing –"

"Hold on, pet," Spike sighed, taking a hold of her deceptively thin arm. "We haven't got any other expendables, you see – until we acquire a few more, we'll have to put up with these ones."

"Oooo," Drusilla wailed. She was very unhappy, very displeased.

"Cheer up, luv, I'll bring you a new toy tonight," Spike promised, kissing his wicked plum as her eyes danced with excitement.

***

The aforementioned blonde, Buffy Summers, now fueled by some extra-strong coffee, flung the doors of the Sunnydale High School library open and strode through, followed by Willow Rosenberg, a cute, if nerdy, redhead and her best friend. "Giles," they both called out, their eyes scanning the room for the British librarian whose name that happened to be.

Soon enough said librarian, tweed-clad as ever, appeared from behind the circulation desk. "Buffy, Willow," he nodded. "Hello." Both girls waved, and Buffy withdrew a lollipop from her tiny black backpack, absently sucking on it as Giles asked, "How did patrol go last night?"

"Weird," Buffy, who was in fact the Vampire Slayer, in case you hadn't yet presumed that, declared. "I was tracking a couple of Spike's guys to the edge of town and I saw them get in a fight."

"With who?" Giles inquired. "Demons? Other vampires?"

"I'm not sure," Buffy muttered, frowning and taking a thoughtful lick of her lollipop. "They didn't have vamp faces on, but I don't think they were human."

"Why not?"

"Well, they kind of… glittered."

Giles blinked, removed his glasses, and rubbed his brow in confusion. "They _glittered_."

Buffy nodded. "Once the sun came up it was like – skin, thy name is disco ball."

"Is there such a thing as a glitter demon?" Willow asked curiously, leaning on the counter. "Or maybe they were trying some magicky stuff and it backfired!"

"I don't know," Giles muttered. "I'll start searching through some of my texts. In the meantime, you two should be in class. Perhaps we'll continue the research this afternoon."


	2. You're A Vampire?

Still not mine. Peace.

***

"Am I the only one who thinks glitter people are less scary and more of a cosmetics accident?" sighed reigning bitch and Scooby Gang hanger-on Cordelia Chase, tossing her brown hair over her shoulder. "Sounds like they didn't get the memo glam is over."

"Disco demons," chuckled the resident goofball, Xander Harris. "Hey, Will, finding anything useful?"

"Not much," Willow said despairingly, peeking out from behind the computer monitor. "I can't find anything on glittery people that doesn't seem to do with, well. Body glitter, or, or like Cordy said. Glam rock or something."

"Well, this is Major Tom to ground control," Xander quipped. "Mission seems futile. Can we just call it a day? Shockingly, I agree with Cordelia." She rolled her eyes at him; he rolled his eyes back, then they both proceeded to fantasize about making out in a broom closet with each other. "This isn't screaming danger to me," he continued.

"If these guys were fighting with Spike's lackeys, they're clearly not just a couple of kids," Buffy declared. "They could be more dangerous than they look."

"Buffy is right," Giles said, looking up from his tall stack of demonology books. "It would be best if we knew, at the least, who they were and why they're here."

"The usual Hellmouthy reasons?" Cordelia rolled her eyes. She was assiduously ignored, as per usual.

"I'm going back to that motel," Buffy announced. "I want to get to the bottom of this. Demon things or not, anyone who's fighting Spike could become allies, and if not, well."

"I'll go with," Xander eagerly exclaimed. Once again, Cordelia rolled her eyes; once again, she was ignored.

Within minutes the group had stockpiled a variety of weapons and squeezed into Giles' small Citroen car, Buffy calling shotgun and Xander crammed between Willow and Cordelia in the back seat. Both girls sitting next to him had thoughts about their proximity, and neither would ever share those thoughts. Ever.

Upon arrival, Giles turned around to face the trio in the back seat. "All right, Xander, Cordelia, it will be your job to distract the manager," he decided.

"We can pretend like we need to get a room," Xander suggested eagerly.

"I'm not pretending I need to get a room with _him_," Cordelia said, pulling a disgusted face although she secretly liked the idea. "Make Willow do it."

"Willow and I are going to wait for you guys to go in and check the registry," Buffy shot back. "If we need to hack the computer or something-"

"Yeah, whatever," Cordelia groused.

"So, once the manager is out of the way, as she said, it will be Buffy and Willow's job to find the rooms assigned to these – er, glittering strangers. They'll do what they can to milk them for information," Giles said sternly.

"Ooh, interrogation time?" Willow beamed. Buffy cast her a little smile, enjoying her friend's enthusiasm.

"Once you're certain they've got the information, you're free to abandon your charade however you see fit," Giles told Xander and Cordelia. "We'll rendezvous in the parking lot as soon as possible."

"Got it," the Scooby Gang chorused. Cordelia and Xander climbed out of the car (Willow watching with a little pout) and through the partially-unrolled window, Xander could be heard saying, "C'mon, if we're supposed to be a couple you should put your arm around my waist or something."

"As if I'd do that," Cordelia grumbled, though she really didn't mind.

A few short moments after they disappeared into the building, Buffy and Willow clambered out of the car, leaving Giles alone with yet more demonology books. Not knowing these sparkly newcomers hailed from the Pacific Northwest, he did not think to look into any Quileute myths, but, being Giles, he'd likely stumble on them anyway soon enough.

Buffy peered through the window, waiting for the manager to lead Cordelia and Xander upstairs, and upon their exit she and Willow snuck through the door and behind the front desk. Willow immediately pulled up the guest list on the computer, scanning it for names. "I heard one girl call the other one Bella," Buffy said, peering over Willow's shoulder.

"Bella… Bella…" Willow muttered as she searched. "Found an _Isabella_, think that's it? Room 117. It's registered under the same credit card number as the room next door to it, that room's under… lemme see. Jasper Hale, looks like." She scrolled around. "Seems like they're the only booked rooms on the entire floor," she murmured.

"They're probably our glitterbots, then," Buffy nodded. "Let's go."

Willow and Buffy made their way to rooms 117 and 118, each knocking on a door. There was no answer at 118, but Willow made a "yuck" face at the sounds coming (a-hem) through the door.

A pixie, Alice? More like a nymph(o).

The other door, however, opened a crack and a pale, high-cheekboned face leaned out. "Hello," he said warily, his accent awkward as if it was attempting to be American but partially failing.

"Hi," Buffy said, folding her arms.

"Are you with the motel?"

"Uh, yes!" Willow chirped, quickly grabbing linens off the nearest cart. "Turndown service!"

"No, thanks," the pale man-boy said tersely, and started to shut the door. Buffy stopped it midway, then forced it open.

"Sorry, manager's orders," she muttered, shoving past him and into the room. Willow followed and shut the door behind her. Noticing Bella asleep on the bed, Buffy added, "Better get your girlfriend up."

"Please leave," said Edward.

Willow scurried over to the window and threw the curtain open, letting sunlight filter in. Immediately, his skin began to sparkle, and he writhed with emotion as Willow exclaimed, "A-ha!" It was interrogating time, she hoped. She did love a good interrogation.

"Shut the window before my skin dazzles you!" he cried painfully.

"Repelled by sunlight, huh?" Willow said rhetorically, raising an eyebrow.

"But he's not burning up," Buffy observed.

"What do you think I am?" he moaned woefully.

Buffy and Willow exchanged pointed glances.

"SAY IT!" he growled.

"You're a… vampire?" Willow asked hesitantly, despite the fact that he wasn't yet dead of sunlight. Without further evidence, no claims could be made.

"Let's find out," Buffy smirked, lunging towards the sparkly fellow with her stake. Edward growled again, then promptly jumped out the window. Shrugging, Buffy and Willow ran out the door, having minimal interest in jumping after him.

As luck would have it, Edward happened to land on the hood of Giles's car, which upset the Englishman considerably until he noticed the glittering quality of his skin and realized immediately that this was one of their men. Cordelia and Xander, amidst some stupid argument, came ambling out of the lobby around the same time, and immediately ran for the car upon seeing Edward sprawled and sparkling on top of it. "Xander, grab him," Giles exclaimed, hurriedly unbuckling his seatbelt and climbing out to give him a better look-over.

Buffy and Willow were outside in no time, as well, and Edward noticed the blonde Slayer with apprehension. "I don't want to hurt you," he said in a low voice. "You don't know what I am."

"You're a vampire," she said, rolling her eyes. "Big scary deal."

"Yes," Edward nodded. "I am."

Bella came running out the door, having heard the noise of Edward smashing into the hood of Giles's car. She ran with a limp, result of twisting her ankle not ten hours before. Buffy and the others noticed with curiosity that she herself was not sparkling; that, combined with the limp, led them to conclusions.

"So who's the girl, Sparkle Boy?" Buffy asked, folding her arms.

"I'm Bella," said Bella plainly. "Edward is my one true love."

"_Is _he," Buffy said with an expression clearly reading 'what the hell?'

"How come you're not all shiny?" Cordelia asked in a bored tone.

"Edward my love is a vampire," Bella confessed dramatically (or as dramatically as she was capable of).

"We know," Buffy smirked. "He just told us."

"Bella is not a vampire," Edward sighed chagrinedly. "Our love is terribly complicated."

"He won't even – y'know. With me," Bella sighed mournfully. "I bet Mike Newton or Tyler what's-his-face who almost ran into me with his car would, but Edward will not. He does, however, watch me sleep. It is truly a pure, honest love we share."

"Uh-huh," Willow and Buffy chorused, Willow making her very best confused face and Buffy still wearing the 'what the hell' expression she'd adopted a minute ago.

"Then why are you limping?" Buffy asked.

"I twisted my ankle," Bella explained simply. "Running away from the frightening men with the awful skin last night."

"The vampires, you mean," Giles interrupted.

"They were not beautiful," Bella said confusedly. "Vampires are inhumanly beautiful, with pale skin that glitters in the sunlight. These men were unattractive and did not glitter."

"Geez, where'd you get _your _supernatural education?" Cordelia snarked. "Even _I _know that's not true."

"Cordelia," Giles cautioned. "It is possible that we're dealing with a – different type of vampire."

"AUGH!" Edward exclaimed despondently. "It pains me even to think of what I am."

"So. You are definitely a vampire," Buffy muttered, rolling her eyes.

"Yes," Edward confirmed.

"But it's daylight," Cordelia groaned.

"I'm a monster!" Edward exclaimed agonizingly. "This is the skin of a _killer_!"

"Is this supposed to scare us?" Buffy asked.

"Dude, be glad the real vampires can't come kick your butt right now," Xander chuckled.

"I've done terrible things," Edward cried. "I've killed people."

"So I think I'm going to stake you now," Buffy smirked. "Thanks for giving me a good reason."

"Yes, Buffy," Giles nodded. "Kill the sparkly ones. After all, you are the Slayer, and if he is a vampire…"

"Great, here we go," Buffy said, withdrawing her stake and aiming for Edward's heart.

Cordelia withdrew a pair of designer sunglasses from her purse. The glare from Edward's skin was far too extreme.

"Wait," Edward moaned confusedly, eyeing Buffy with confusion. "You don't love me? All mortal girls love me! I dazzle them!"

"You make Angel look manly, dude," Xander cut in, laughing.

"Hey!" Buffy exclaimed. "My boyfriend you're talking – okay. No. It's true."

The sun was beginning to set, and the glittering gradually decreased with it.

"B-but… you don't want to have my psycho vampire baby?" Edward questioned, shocked.

"That's _my _job!" Bella moaned in agony. "She's not even pale and clumsy!"

Buffy turned to Giles and Willow in frustration. "Have you guys ever heard _any _of this lore before?"

Both shook their heads. "It's not in any of the books," Giles said with a slight shrug.

"I didn't see it online, either," Willow announced. "Sounds like a hoax to me."

"Staking time, then," Buffy said with a sarcastic smile. Once again, she lunged at Edward, and this time he did not wuss out, but began to fight her.

"As if you could ever beat me in a fight," he shouted angrily. "I am a monster, I have the strength of a killer –"

"Well, I'm the Slayer, and I've beat down jerks way more intimidating than you," Buffy shot back, landing a blow in his stomach that sent him flying backwards into the motel wall.

"My love!" Bella cried tearfully. "Your perfect glittering six-pack will bruise! Or it would if your perfect marble skin could bruise."

As they continued to spar, Buffy's Slayer training far trumping any of Edward's innate vampire strength, and the others watched (the Scooby Gang in mild amusement, Bella in terror), they did not quite notice the sun begin to set.

"If you knew what was good for you, you'd leave me alone," Edward exclaimed despondently, attempting to shove Buffy off of him.

"Yeah, I'm not much for the running away," Buffy rolled her eyes, pinning one arm behind his back and kicking the backs of his knees so he fell to the ground in pain. "Nice try, though."

"Well, well," a familiar British voice not belonging to Giles called out. Everyone, including the Slayer and the sparkler whose ass she was kicking, turned to look. "What _have _we here? Looks like the Slayer's found our nancy boy after all."

Spike, flanked by his three thugs, had approached, likely from a nearby sewer tunnel, and he folded his arms across his chest in amusement. "Now, I just came here to find this featherweight, but this is so much better," he continued. "Think how happy Dru will be when I bring her the shiny new toy _and _a bruised and bloody Slayer to play with."

"Will, Xander, Cordy, get out of here," Buffy said in an even tone, never once breaking eye contact with Spike. "Giles – get them back to the school. See if you can find anything else out. I'll meet up with you once I've taken care of _this_."

Only too happy to book it, Xander was the first in the car, this time calling shotgun in Buffy's absence. Willow and Cordelia slid seamlessly into the backseat, Willow looking mildly terrified and Cordelia's expression reading more as abject boredom; Giles was already halfway to the getaway car before Buffy had finished speaking, and sped off in his dented Citroen the instant the other three had slammed their doors shut. That taken care of, Buffy focused her attention to her bleach-blond British nemesis, all the while still kicking the crap out of Edward.

"These aren't the kids who fought us earlier," one of Spike's posse declared. "The girl was smaller –"

"Pixielike," Bella prompted ridiculously.

"And the guy was more of a blond," the vamp continued. "This is the girl who ran, though."

"She's an okay little bit, isn't she," Spike said wryly, eyeing Bella up and down. "She might be a nice surprise for Dru, too, don't you think."

"Don't talk about my love that way," Edward exclaimed heroically. "She may have the most delicious, addictingly-scented blood in all of the world, but only I am allowed to objectify her!"

"Ain't we gonna get a bite, boss?" the wittier vamp asked impatiently.

"Not if you just stand here talkin' like a bunch of girls," Spike shot back. "_You two_ get nancy boy and his little accessory here down to the lair, _you_ check this sodding wreck for the others, and _I'll _take care of the Slayer here."

But while he was barking orders, Buffy had let go of Edward and carefully loaded up the trusty crossbow Giles had left behind and aimed it at the heart of one of Spike's thugs. He vanished in a cloud of dust and Spike swore under his breath. Bella and Edward let out identical high-pitched screams.

"Namby-pamby brat," Spike muttered disdainfully, and promptly slammed Edward's head into the wall, rendering him more or less unconscious.

"My love!" Bella shrieked annoyingly. She made as if to run towards him, then promptly tripped over a pebble and fell face-first onto the concrete.

"Well, that made my job a little easier, now," Spike smirked, turning to his thugs. "Get the toys outta here, men. I'll be with you in a minute."

"Sooner rather than later, hmm?" Buffy chirped.

Before he could attack Buffy, she kicked him backwards into the other men, causing the lot of them to fall on top of the manhole they had emerged from. The one carrying Bella slid down first, followed by the one carrying Edward; Spike rolled his eyes and followed after, grumbling and sliding the manhole cover back over his head.

Oddly, Buffy didn't really care to go after them.


	3. A Lovely Surprise

Mine? No.

***

Buffy was striding through one of Sunnydale's numerous dark alleyways when she heard another set of footsteps match hers. Turning with her stake in hand, she was relieved to see not some blood-hungry goon but her on-off undead paramour, Angel.

"Hey, put that thing down," he smirked. She returned his smile and stowed her stake away up her sleeve, standing on her toes to kiss him.

"Hey," she grinned.

"Are you patrolling?"

"Nope," Buffy said lightly. "It's a researchy night. You're welcome to join if, y'know, you wanna spend your whole night buried in big musty stacks of books."

"What's the topic tonight?" Angel questioned. Two leather-wearing vampires appeared from either side, and Buffy calmly staked one while Angel beat the other to the ground.

"New breed of vamps," she replied, stepping over Angel to dust the other with little effort. Brushing off her hands, she continued, "At least, they say they are – do you know anything about vamps who glitter in the sunlight?"

Angel furrowed his brow. "Glitter? Never heard of such a thing. Are you sure they're really vampires?"

"I'm not sure at all," Buffy admitted. "They don't _turn_, they don't have fangs, they seemed kinda… sissy. But they claimed to be vampires."

"How many?"

"I saw two last night, another today," Buffy said. "And there's a girl with them. Human."

"Captive?" Angel asked, pausing to reflect on how he might once have behaved in similar circumstances in his soulless past life as Angelus.

"One of their girlfriends," Buffy explained. "She said, anyway."

"Human girl dating a vampire," Angel shook his head. "Doesn't know what she's getting herself into, I'd bet. Stupid of her."

"Real stupid," Buffy said pointedly, giving Angel a Look that translated to, _pot calling the kettle black much? _They walked along in awkward silence for a minute or two.

"Where are they?" Angel finally asked.

"Staying at the Sunnydale Motel. But the girl and the guy she was with got taken off by Spike's thugs. I'm not sure if the two I saw last night are still around or not."

"Spike's men?" Angel echoed. "What would he want with them?"

"Any number of perverse, Spike-type things, many of which I don't care to imagine."

"Are you going after them?"

"Not until I know more about them," Buffy replied, approaching the front doors of Sunnydale High and heading in. "If they're just as evil, they deserve each other, and I'll dust 'em when they surface again. If not, we make a recon plan."

The pair entered the library and saw the rest of the gang hard at work. Or rather, Willow and Giles were hard at work, while Cordelia and Xander were nowhere to be found and one of the bookshelves in the back of the library seemed to be shaking slightly. "Hey, guys," Buffy said.

"Hi, Buffy," Willow chirped. "Hi, Angel."

Angel waved in his characteristically awkward way.

"Is Angel going to help us research?" Giles queried dryly, already setting aside a stack of dense texts for him to rummage through.

"Yep, he's a helpful one," Buffy smirked, sliding onto the counter and picking up the nearest volume. Angel sat at the table across from Giles and opened a book as well. "Found anything?" Buffy asked.

"Not much, I'm afraid," Giles muttered. "Not one of these texts so much as mentions glittery skin. Are you _sure_ they aren't just some sort of demon? Or even, dare I suggest, delusional humans?"

"That glittering skin was definitely beyond human," Cordelia declared, emerging from the stacks and hastily tugging at the hem of her shirt. "No amount of makeup could achieve that Christmas-lighty twinkle."

"No useful texts back there, then," Giles sighed. "I just don't understand. This blatantly contradicts virtually everything we know to be true about vampires. Every text we've – _I've _– read, every firsthand experience we've had…" He trailed off, disgruntled, and dove into the next book in his pile.

"What ended up happening with Spike?" Willow asked, coming to sit by Buffy on the counter.

"He and his men took Sparkle Boy and his honey," Buffy replied, leaning back on her hands and sighing.

"He's bringing them to Drusilla," Angel announced flatly. "I'd bet anything he is."

"Yes, I _do _recall him saying something about toys, mentioning Drusilla's name," Giles nodded.

"Geez," Xander cut in unhelpfully, appearing at the top of the stairs and taking a seat.

"That's all well and good for the vamp," Angel mused in a gloomy tone, "But his girlfriend could be in serious danger."

"I'd almost guarantee it," Buffy said dully, startled to realize how very little she cared what happened to the insipid brunette and her sparkling boytoy.

***

"Princess," Spike called out, sidling into the dusty chamber he'd had decorated so nicely to suit his ailing ladylove. He found her lounging languidly on the king-size bed, idly toying with her dolly's curls.

"It's dreadful cold in here," she murmured by way of greeting. "Miss Edith is coming over in shivers."

Ignoring his urge to mention that Miss Edith was, in fact, a doll and therefore unable to shiver, he bounded over to the bed with a wicked, joyful expression and planted a kiss on Drusilla's cheek. "Guess what, luv?"

"Mmm, the cavalry is coming and we must ride away before they find us?"

"Guess again," he purred, pressing his lips against her neck.

"You haven't killed the naughty mean Slayer, I'd have known if you did that, mmm, what _can _it be?"

"Close your eyes real tight, pet, and don't open them till I say so," Spike grinned. Drusilla placed her hands over her eyes with a smile, but quick as she did, she spread two fingers apart and playfully peeked out. Spike laughed and moved to cover her eyes himself, chiding, "Wicked little princess, no looking yet."

"It's a _surprise_, innit? Oooo, I hope it's a lovely surprise."

The two remaining members of Spike's posse dragged Edward and Bella's unconscious forms into the bedchamber, and Spike whispered low in Dru's ear, "Lookit."

Eagerly, she clawed at Spike's hands and took in the sight of her two new gifts. "Oooo, Spike, they're _wonderful_," she declared, jumping up to get a better look.

"Promised I'd bring you some shiny new toys, didn't I," Spike smirked.

"But there's more of 'em, still loose like wild dogs," Drusilla proclaimed. "And _this _one doesn't even sparkle," she added, frowning at Bella.

"Well, y'see, luv," Spike said cautiously, "Turns out the shiny poof's claimin' to be a vampire. That one's his still-livin' baby love."

"But _I _don't sparkle, _we _don't shine like hundreds of diamonds all sculpted and glaring," Dru pouted. "Is he broken? Mmm, or has everything changed so dreadfully in such a short time?"

"No, luv, he's not broken, not yet," Spike replied, grinning evilly. "That's all up to you."

"It's been so long since I really tortured anyone," Drusilla sighed, circling Edward and Bella with a faraway look in her eyes. "What if I'm out of practice? If there's some new game I haven't yet learned?"

"You'll be fine, pet," Spike assured her. "'Sides, you've got a nice snack to get your strength up, eh?"

"And how lovely she smells," Drusilla said happily, all woeful thoughts apparently forgotten. "Blood like candy, mmm, sweet and decadent and unspoiled. No fair biting till she wakes, though. That takes out the fun and I do _so _want this to be fun."

***

Back at the Sunnydale Motel, Alice and Jasper had finally stopped making love, their room disheveled and torn apart. Alice was adjusting her pixielike hair in the mirror, because these vampires still had reflections. Jasper had found a guitar in the closet, logic be damned, and was softly strumming an old Confederate fight song while staring at the tiny, only semi-clothed figure of his beautiful wife.

Suddenly her topaz eyes went black, and she turned away from the mirror. She stumbled uncharacteristically clumsily onto the bed, her petite hands grabbing desperately for a pen and paper. Jasper handed her a page ripped from the back of the Gideon's Bible in the drawer, unfazed by the religiosity of the cross on the cover, and the pencil some stranger had left behind for storytelling convenience.

"What is it, Alice?" Jasper asked worriedly, rubbing Alice's bare shoulders and calming her empathetically.

"Bella and Edward are gone," she said monotonally, hastily yet detailedly sketching out a room on the paper. "The men we fought took them somewhere."

"Are they with James?"

"No – these men are working for someone else – I see Bella and Edward unconscious, some…" She finished her drawing, staring blankly at the cavernous bedroom on the page in front of her. "Some blond man, a woman…"

"Is there danger?"

"Yes," Alice replied darkly. "You wait for Carlisle. I'll go ahead. If I'm not back in an hour, come after me."

"Where has Carlisle gone?"

"Probably to go do good deeds by cover of shadow," Alice nodded sagely.

"Where are you going?"

"They're – beneath our feet," Alice murmured dully, pulling her clothes on and heading out the door quickly.


	4. All Sweetness and Staining My Lips

Still not mine. Also, er. Character death? (Yay?)

***

"You guys," Willow exclaimed from behind the computer monitor. "I think I might have found something."

Giles, Xander, Cordelia, Buffy and Angel crowded around the computer and peered over Willow's shoulder. "What's the what, Will?" Buffy asked.

"I found this website on vampire myths, oddball traditions and stuff," Willow explained, scrolling down the page. "Most of it's pretty goofy, but there's this whole part on vampires with cold, shimmery skin. Says it's a Native American myth."

"Sounds like our guys," Buffy agreed. "Any tips there?"

"Well, it says their eyes are red, and get darker when they're hungry," Willow read slowly. "And that they're pale and beautiful. And – uh-oh."

"What uh-oh," Xander said, already preparing to panic.

"You know how our vamps have to suck your blood, then you have to suck _theirs _to be turned?" Willow asked nervously. "Well, these guys don't need their own selves sucked. Just bite and boom. And holy symbols? Ha-ha. Also not a big deal. And stakes? Yeah. Less with the working, too."

"How do you kill these guys, then?" Cordelia questioned.

"Decapitation," Willow gulped nervously.

"Great," Buffy rolled her eyes. "No chance their shimmery skin means they only play nice, is there?"

"It doesn't really say," Willow sighed. "Giles, do you have any books on Native American myths?"

"I should, yes," Giles muttered, hurrying over to the stacks and beginning his search. Buffy let out a sigh and flopped into the nearest chair.

"Well, this is just lovely," she groaned. "Guess I'm just waiting for these sparkly jerks to show their pretty little faces again."

"What about the girl?" Angel asked.

"At this point, I'm afraid her chances of survival are minimal," Giles replied. "Between her – _paramour _– and Spike and Drusilla, it's safe to say she's almost certainly doomed."

***

Bella stirred, opening her eyes to find a strange, eerie woman in a vaguely Victorian dress staring down at her. "Little precious is awake," Drusilla cooed, baring her teeth in a chilling smile. "Now playtime can begin. Would you like tea and crumpets, precious?"

"Who are you?" Bella asked abruptly, her voice sounding even more hoarse and mannish than usual. "Are you with James?"

Drusilla and Spike – who was sprawled boyishly on the bed – exchanged a glance. "Oi, who's James?" Spike questioned.

"James is the evil vampire who is after me," Bella explained helplessly. "He smelled my sweet, sweet blood in the clearing where I was playing baseball with my love Edward and his beautiful, marble-skinned vegetarian vampire family."

"_Vegetarian _vampires?" Spike chortled, leaning forward to examine Bella more closely. "How the hell's that work?"

"It is a family joke," Bella stated boringly. "They do not wish to slaughter innocent people, so they only drink the blood of wild animals. That is why their eyes are a beautiful topaz and not red like all other vampires."

"_My _eyes aren't red, Spike, are they?" Drusilla asked, clearly distressed. "That would be terribly upsetting, oooo, it would."

"No, pet, your eyes aren't red," Spike assured her. Turning back to Bella, he chuckled, "So your nancy boy's got fangs, eh?"

"Not really," Bella shrugged lamely. "But his teeth could tear me apart even still, if he wanted to. He does not, though – he refuses to turn me until I have graduated high school and we are married."

"Mmm, old-fashioned sort of boy, he is," Dru purred. "You _want _him to turn you. You want to be a shiny, cold diamond girl and drink from bears and rabbits for all eternity, hmm?"

"But Edward says we must wait until marriage," Bella sighed.

"P'raps we could help, luv," Spike declared cheerfully.

"How?" Bella asked obliviously.

"Well, if the great poof won't turn you…" Spike began thoughtfully. "Maybe you ought to find someone else to pop your cherry – so to speak."

He and Drusilla shifted into vamp face, causing Bella to shriek. Edward stirred, but did not move. With a wicked giggle, Dru dove in, digging her fangs into Bella's pale, thin neck. Spike was happy to watch, always having enjoyed watching his dark princess at work. There was something innately sensual about the way Dru killed, always angling her head like she meant to kiss her victim, tangling her slender fingers through their hair; when they frantically grabbed at her, tried to break away, she'd just as soon hold them close and whisper nonsense in their ear as she would snap their fragile bones. Bella screamed (rather orgasmically, Spike thought with a smirk) as Drusilla drained her blood, clutching at Dru's arms. Her eyes rolled back in her head, and Spike laughed.

"Well done, princess," he commended her.

Drusilla released Bella's body unceremoniously and licked a drop of blood off of her lips. "Mmm, just like a lolli, a tasty candy, all sweetness and staining my lips," she murmured. "Give us a kiss and p'raps you'll get a taste."

Obligingly, Spike leaned in to Drusilla, kissing her hard and deep. He ran his tongue along the contour of her lips, savoring the taste of Bella's candylike blood. "Holy hell," he gasped delightedly.

"More delicious than all the yummiest sweetest cakes in all of England," Drusilla proclaimed. "Pity she was so very plain and uninteresting. I'd have thought to keep her around a while as a lovely playmate for Miss Edith if only she had been a bit more charming." She sighed dramatically and lapped at the last of Bella's blood that lingered on her lips. "Shame for the poor dead precious."

"Shame indeed," Spike agreed nonchalantly. "Good thing there's still Glitter Boy to play with, hmm, luv?"

***

"I really think you should go after them," Angel told Buffy, turning his very most serious face on her. "The girl isn't safe. Spike and Drusilla _will _attack her. You don't know them like I do."

"Yeah?" Xander asked, rolling his eyes. He was the least willing to accept Angel, once feared amongst the underworld set, into their gang, and mention of Angel's evil Angelus life put him on the offensive. "What do you know, then?"

"Dru is fascinated by new things," Angel shook his head. "Something as strange as – as a glittering vampire would very likely become an obsession with her. She could be torturing him right now."

"Color me shocked," Buffy muttered. "Crazy vamp is gonna do something crazy. And I should care… why?"

"The girl is going to get caught in the crossfire," Angel exclaimed. "She doesn't deserve that."

"Um, Earth to Angel," Cordelia snarked. "This girl was practically begging for it."

Willow and Xander nodded in assent.

"Just because she was hanging out with vamps?" Angel questioned, his tone indignant.

"No, Oversensitive Boy," Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Because she literally told us she wanted to be a vampire. Duh."

"Oh," Angel said sheepishly.

"It really is up to you, Buffy," Giles said, folding his arms and sighing. "Trying to find Spike and Drusilla is dangerous in and of itself, and only you can decide if this – this Bella girl is worth it."

Buffy looked around the table. Angel was expectant, hopeful; Cordelia looked bored; Xander's expression was neutral, ready to go either way depending on Buffy's choice; Willow had her anxious face on. Giles, as usual, looked stoic and British. She sighed deeply.

"Think I'll need any fancy swords, or just a crossbow and stakes?"


	5. What the Sodding Hell's a Volturi?

Not mine, not mine, la la la la la.

***

Edward came to only to discover himself topless and chained by the wrists to the posts of an unfamiliar bed. "Bella my love, this will not persuade me to take advantage of your human virginity," he called out annoyedly. "And my strong, pure morals do not allow me to enjoy bondage games."

"Bella can't play right now," Drusilla's eerie voice sang out, approaching him with a smile. "She's rather somewhere else."

"Where? Where has she gone?" Edward demanded insistently. "Where have you taken her? Who are you?"

"This's Drusilla," Spike said with a roll of his eyes, coming over to wrap a languid arm around her waist. "And I'm Spike."

"William the Bloody, once upon a time," Dru cut in, eyeing her childe happily. "But the knight became a new sort of boy and we shan't call him William anymore, oooo, no, Spike it is."

"Precisely," Spike nodded. "And if you were a real sodding vampire, you might have known all that already."

"A real vampire?" Edward repeated stupidly. "I do not understand. I have been a vampire since 1918 when I was turned at my mother's request to prevent me from dying of the Spanish Influenza."

"I remember the Spanish Influenza," Drusilla said, smiling nostalgically. "All sorts of strange things. Blood and corpses all around, but nobody wanted to be the first to take tea."

"Now, pet, we still had a lovely time, didn't we," Spike declared.

"Mmm, yummy and naughty and crimson red," Dru agreed, planting a kiss on the barely-visible scar from her having turned him so many years ago, longer ago by decades than Edward's vampire birthday. Edward, for his part, was incredibly frustrated with trying to read Drusilla's mind, finding it incomprehensible and frightening by his simple, innocent standards, and tried to block Spike's out once he realized how attuned it was to Dru's.

"Where am I?" Edward repeated insistently. "Why have you brought me here?"

(Edward was beginning to sound like Raoul from _The Phantom of the Opera_. Not that he would have noticed, and Spike certainly wouldn't have. Dru, for her part, had gone through a _Phantom _phase back in 1987, in London, and had fond memories of that time, and the darling little ballet girl she'd made a fledge of, but pressing matters distracted her rather from making the comparison.)

"Well, nancy boy," Spike began, going to an ornate wooden dresser that had seen better days and digging around in the top drawer. "My girl Dru here had a premonition of sorts 'bout your kind." He tossed Dru a little glass vial… of holy water. "And since this here town is our territory, not to sound like a bloody American cowboy or one of your sissy street gangs, we decided we'd do well to figure you out. _What makes the shiny vamp tick_?"

Edward frowned moodily. "How do you know that I am a vampire?" he questioned angrily. "You have not seen me in the sun or killing an animal. Now the Volturi will be after me for revealing my terrible secret."

"What the sodding hell's a Volturi?" Spike smirked.

"Why, they are the council of lawmakers for all vampires," Edward declared plainly. Drusilla and Spike exchanged glances, then laughed.

"P'raps not all vampires," Drusilla murmured with a laugh. "_We _don't answer to any silly council, mmm, that's for Slayers and Watchers and not for us, no, not at all."

"Slayers – like the blonde girl, the one who was beating me up," Edward realized pathetically.

"Mean, nasty Slayer," Drusilla pouted. "Always ruins the parties and games." With a sudden smile, she uncorked the vial of holy water – careful not to spill on her own skin – and poured it on Edward's exposed chest.

"Brr," he said. "That water's freezing."

Drusilla and Spike stared at each other, then at Edward, shocked. "It's meant to sting, to burn your pretty starlit skin," Dru wailed, pouring yet more on him. "It's been blessed by a Holy Father, stolen so nicely for me by my sweet Spike, it's meant to _burn_, oooo, to _hurt_."

Spike tossed her another vial, glowering, "Nancy boy's just tryin' to play tough, pet. You'll break him soon enough."

She dumped the whole of it down his chest, watching for a reaction. Edward shivered again, but made no other protest. She then threw the empty vial at him, watching as it bounced off, hit the floor, and broke into hundreds of tiny glass shards.

"Fetch me somethin' sharp and shiny," Drusilla declared, running two fingers along Edward's throat and whispering in his ear, "I want to see if the lovely boy bleeds glitter."

"Hmm, grand idea," Spike chuckled. Going back to the dresser drawer, he soon removed a fine, sharp blade, testing it on his own index finger as he approached Dru once more. Blood began to pool as he sidled over, and he allowed her to take his finger in her mouth and suck a few drops. She grinned wickedly, licking and sucking on it in a suggestive way that made Edward blush prudishly.

"You've got remnants of the lolli-girl in your taste," Drusilla purred, though her eyes were focused on Edward. She let go of Spike (clearly leaving him wanting more) and pressed the blade to Edward's chest. She dragged it across his marbly bicep, only to find a distinct lack of blood (or glitter) spilling from the wound.

"Spike," she whined, alarmed. "He's all stone."

***

"I won't be long on this one, guys," Buffy said, loading up the last of the stakes and crossbows into her duffel bag and shouldering it effortlessly. "It's probably gonna be an in-out-over kinda thing."

"I'll go with," Xander said, grinning eagerly once more.

Cordelia let out a giant yawn, rolling her eyes. "How about you walk me out to my car instead," she suggested, attempting to sound bored. "In case there's any creepy-crawly pointy-bitey _things _out there." They were out the door with hasty "goodbyes" before anyone could say boo.

Giles stifled a yawn of his own. "I suppose we've done enough research for the night," he said, shutting a heavy book and adding it to the stack of those that needed to be reshelved. "Buffy, you _will _be careful."

"Course," she chirped. "I'm always, aren't I?"

"Er – _no_, but there's no point contradicting you," Giles sighed. Willow had dozed off at the computer, and he gently shook her awake, stepping back to allow her space as she lifted her head drowsily and offered an apologetic smile.

"Oops," she said, hurriedly clicking the computer off and tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"No worries, Will," Xander laughed. "Working as hard as you do should earn you a little sleep here and there."

"Yes, I do rather agree," Giles nodded. "I think we'd all best get a bit of rest – Buffy, do check in once you've finished, though?"

"Got it," Buffy nodded, giving Giles a little salute.

"Want me to go with you?" Angel asked, turning his broody stare off long enough to appear somewhat questioning.

"Wouldn't mind if you walked me down there, at least," Buffy replied, smiling at him in a way that Giles felt vaguely wrong about witnessing. He removed his glasses and rubbed his forehead agitatedly, still uncomfortable with that relationship at times (this being one of such times).

***

Alice was following the path that had been laid out in her conveniently detailed vision when she froze, her topaz eyes flashing darkly. She stuck a hand out, propping herself against the nearest wall, and said in a low hiss, "Bella." Her supernatural vampire speed and strength kicked in, and she lifted up the nearest manhole cover and jumped gracefully into the nearest sewer tunnel.

It didn't take long to find the more populated underground areas, and she high-kicked the thug vamp that was standing guard at the entrance to the abandoned factory where Spike and Dru kept court. Once he was down, she sped worriedly towards the bedchamber, stopping in her tracks at the sight before her.

"You, _you _glimmer, too," Drusilla declared, dropping the whip she had been attempting to beat Edward with suddenly. (This was making Spike want to beat something else – he had forgotten how vicious his ladylove could be, how terribly cruel and wonderful.) Her head canted to the side, she regarded Alice's petite figure, short, feathered hair, dainty little dress, coming to rest on her eyes: topaz as the precious little lolli-girl had described. A small smile crept over her blood-stained lips and she near-whispered, "_Naughty _little dolly! She sees just like Mummy, but her sparkling sighing counterpart never ever told us. What fun the little dolly will be!"

"You mean t'say this little twit's got the Sight?" Spike queried, now looking Alice over himself.

"Mmm, she does, has visions of what's to come, sometimes clear, sometimes hazy," Dru murmured, getting up and flashing a wicked grin. She had always wanted a daughter, but none of her little girls had ever stayed or her dark kitten had become far too jealous. He could not be jealous of this little dolly though! She hadn't _made _her, just _found _her.

"You – you've killed Bella," Alice announced.

"Is the little dolly terribly displeased?" Drusilla asked with a pout. "We're so very sorry. She was singing to us like angels and mockingbirds of how very sweet she'd be if only we took just one little sip. But she was far too humble, the little lolli-girl was, she tasted too sweet and Mummy just had to eat up every cookie in the jar, every cake on the table. We mightn't have if we knew how it would upset you."

Edward, still chained to the bed, cried nonexistent tears, sobbing silently. Spike laughed at him.

_Are you okay? _Alice thought, knowing that vampircally telepathic Edward would pick up on it.

_I am going to Italy, where I will commit suicide by removing my shirt in the sunlight, _Edward thought despondently. _Then the Volturi will surely decapitate me and my sad, unworthy soul will rest at last with the girl whom I love. It is my fault she has met her terrible end._

"What does how upset I am have to do with whether or not you'd have killed Bella?" Alice asked, looking curiously at Drusilla.

"Now, now," Drusilla chided, a smile appearing on her face as she suddenly got a flash of the younger seer's life and circumstances. "Little Alice has fallen down the rabbit hole and lost her manners before the White Queen. Mmm, curtsy like a good girl. Not nice making Mummy do all of the talking."

Alice knew better than to ask how the other woman knew her name – it came with precognitive abilities, getting flashes of that sometimes. She also knew better than to question this woman – _Drusilla, _she discerned – so she dipped into a neat, graceful curtsy. "Hello," she chirped.

"Much nicer," Dru proclaimed, smiling. She was certain that the petite girl, even if she did shimmer, would be a treasure.

_Alice, what are you playing at? _Edward thought worriedly. _These are far more dangerous vampires than we have ever known._

_Don't worry, Edward, we'll get out alive,_ Alice thought cheerfully.

"So, _Alice_," Spike said, some amusement evident in his voice. "I reckon this ain't just a social call."

"I saw that Bella and Edward were in danger," Alice replied. "I came to save them."

"Bit too late, pet," Spike smirked. "You missed out on a wicked snack, though."

"We do not suck the blood of humans," Edward insisted. "Alice is a vegetarian vampire also, and my adopted sister."

"Do you love your brother very much, Alice-dolly?" Drusilla asked, tilting her head.

"Of course," Alice said. "Even if he is a whining prude at times."

"But you're not a prude, oh, no," Dru continued, enchanted. "You like to play. And you – oooo, you've known hurt and pain."

"What do you mean?" Alice asked, at this point still unaware of her human life and past.

"Mummy was called mad, once, too," Drusilla murmured. "Nobody wanted to hear about the pictures in her mind, she was called a devil child. Little dolly was locked away before she began to shine and shimmer, and the transformation set her free."

"Excuse me?" Alice questioned, almost in a whisper.

"Alice-dolly can't see her own sordid story," Drusilla keened, frowning. "Nobody but Mummy will tell her of herself. They are all wicked mean storytellers, but Mummy will always be true." She sent Spike a pointed glance, or as pointed as she was capable of. "We shall keep the little dolly, and I want no fuss from you."

"Keep her?" Spike groaned. "Dru, she's not even yours to keep."

"Mmm, I didn't take her soul or taste her blood, but I will bring her from the dullest darkness into the dearest deadliest, and she will shine and shimmer till the end of days," Dru cooed, smiling at Alice. Oh, she was _glad _she hadn't rushed to keep Bella, when the tiny little seer was so much better!

"I'm very flattered, Drusilla, and I can see us becoming great friends, but I just can't stay here forever," Alice said warily.

"Tsk, tsk," Dru sighed. "Little dolly will come round soon."

"Perhaps she'd feel more inclined to stay awhile if you just unchained me," Edward suggested wussily. Alice shot him a disbelieving look, surprised he'd essentially think to sell her out like that.

_Are you joking me? _she thought angrily. He chose not to respond.

"Naughty glitter boy," Dru admonished. "Speaking out of turn. Back to the whip for you."

She picked it up and struck Edward's bare back with it, letting out a little "oooo!" with the effort. He flinched slightly, and this tiny non-reaction caused Drusilla to frown. "Nothin' I do hurts him," she wailed. "Have I lost my touch, Spike?"

"A'course not, princess," Spike replied instantly.

"I hurt every day that I am still walking upon this earth," Edward declared emoishly. "I am filled with the pain that all monsters must suffer."

"I don't suffer it, d'you, luv?" Spike asked, cocking his head and raising an eyebrow at Drusilla.

"Mmm, no, it's a lovely feeling," Dru agreed.

_Alice, get us out of here_, Edward thought desperately. She did her darnedest not to return his thought.

"Alice-dolly, are you so very dull as your brother?" Drusilla asked in a sing-song voice. "_He's _as boring as Daddy when Daddy's got his soul."

"Oh, don't bring that git into it," Spike muttered to himself, never fond of hearing about Dru's sire and "Daddy," who just so happened to be Angel. There was a jealous rivalry thing there.

"I hope I'm not," Alice exclaimed, laughing. "He's a virgin, you know. Girls throw themselves at him and he just broods about it, going on about how he wouldn't want to hurt them, how they couldn't possibly know how dangerous he is."

"Oh, I bet," Spike chuckled. "Poor sod. Are you sure he's not – y'know. Rather _fancy_?"

Alice and Drusilla both gave Edward appraising looks, which Edward withered under. "No, I am not _fancy_," he muttered. "I just respect women and would not subject them to the horrifying truth about my innate bloodlust, nor would I tarnish their reputation by stealing their virtue before they were married."

"Oi," Spike groaned. "You got problems, glitter boy." Turning to Alice, he asked, "How d'you live with this prat day in and day out? Must get awfully annoying."

"To tell the truth…" Alice said, giggling. She was never one to partake in the Edward-bashing that went on amongst the adopted Cullen siblings, but now that she knew he would easily have sold her down the river, she finally allowed herself to engage. It felt great.

"Alice-dolly has such a lovely laugh!" Drusilla exclaimed cheerfully. "Are you sure you don't want to play?"

"I – " Alice stopped mid-sentence, turning to look around the room and breaking into a smile. "You've got excellent taste, Drusilla. The décor in here is quite marvelous. A bit cobwebby, but that's all just preference, isn't it."

"Mmm, thank you, dolly," Dru smiled. "My wicked dark prince made sure it was to my liking when we arrived, we had to leave our last home so – oooo, so _awfully_ sudden."

"Got run out by a mob, we did," Spike nodded. "Terrible shame. They tried to hurt my princess, but I saved her, didn't I?"

"You did," Drusilla purred, rising from the bed to give Spike a kiss and giving Alice a truly good look at her dress for the first time.

"My _god_, that dress is beautiful!" Alice exclaimed.

"Like spun moonbeams, mmm," Drusilla said, giving a twirl. "It's fit for a princess, and that's what I am, innit, Spike? I'm a princess."

"Right you are," Spike agreed, smirking.

"You could be a princess, too, Alice-dolly," Dru said airily. "I've more dresses, and we could dance and twirl through the night."

"More dresses?" Alice asked eagerly. Drusilla nodded towards the chest of drawers, and Alice immediately went to it, pulling it open and almost orgasming over the high-quality gowns and tops and skirts inside.

"Mummy always means to please her dolly," Drusilla said. She regarded Edward once more, a sort of lucidity momentarily appearing in her eyes. "P'raps the marble boy won't fall prey to knives and splinters like the rest, won't hiss and smoke when he's splashed… mmm, but such a nice boy might not survive his guilt, don't you think, Spike?"

"Marvelous plan, luv," Spike grinned. Dru made her way to Edward, standing right in front of him.

With two fingers, she caught his attention, waving them in front of his eyes and murmuring, "_Be in me_," staring him down unblinkingly till he was in her power. Her voice lowered as she whispered, "My darling, what have you done to me?"

Alice held up a red and black corset, admiring it in the candlelight and declaring, "This is a lovely top, Dru – I think I can see myself bor –" But she stopped in her tracks, blinking confusedly at Dru and Edward. She turned to Spike, asking, "What's going on?"

"It's called _thrall_, pet, just one'a my princess's special gifts," Spike smirked.


	6. We've Barely Begun to Play

Last installment, bitches. Still not mine. Also, I owe a lot of the characterization to other awesome writers, not to mention "Growing Up Cullen" at Livejournal.

***

The hour had passed, and Jasper was still sitting in the hotel room, strumming away on the guitar. He'd just finished a twangy version of "Johnny Boy" when he noticed the time on the clock read an hour after Alice's departure. Carlisle had not yet returned from wherever he had vanished to, and for a moment Jasper was torn – wait for him, or run to the aid of his woman.

He decided, ultimately, to run to the aid of his woman, leaving a short note for Carlisle:

_Dear Carlisle._

_Saving Alice from saving Edward and Bella. Be back soon._

_Jasper._

He then ran outside, determined to figure out where his ladylove had gone but not having her psychic intuition to guide him. Instead, he settled on asking the first uncouth-looking vampire-esque type he saw, cornering him and demanding, "Have you seen my wife?"

"How the hell'd I know? Tons of broads get around here," the vamp shrugged. "What's she look like? Hope I didn't have her for dinner earlier, ha-ha."

"Petite and pixielike," Jasper said rotely. "Short brown hair. Topaz eyes."

"Wearin' a lot of blue? Think she went into the tunnels," the vamp said. "Looking for trouble, eh?"

"I'll say," a female voice called out, belonging to Buffy, who dashed over and dusted the vamp in two seconds flat and grabbed Jasper by the collar. "You're one of the new vamps, aren't you?"

"Yes," Jasper said tersely, using his empathetic vampiric abilities to calm her a bit.

"Where's the rest of your merry band, then?"

"After Edward and Bella disappeared, Alice went after them," Jasper declared stoically. "She is in the tunnels. Where are the tunnels?"

"_Dammit_," Buffy groaned.

Angel, standing behind her, raised an eyebrow. "We take him with us?"

"My wife is in danger," Jasper said emotionally.

"Guess that's a yes," Buffy sighed. "C'mon."

Angel grabbed the nearest manhole cover up and lowered Buffy in. He made as if to lower Jasper in, as well, but Jasper just jumped down into the tunnel like a cat, ignoring Angel's demasculinizing offer. Angel shrugged and followed, keeping a distance from the skinny, big-eyed sparkler. "They must be in the factory," Angel said, naming the known lair for Spike and his gang. "It'll be east from here, I think."

He took the lead, and nobody seemed inclined to make conversation. Jasper was naturally taciturn, to the point of painfulness at times; Angel was busy leading as well as brooding; Buffy was getting into her fight zone. But finally, politeness required she turn and ask, "Hey, what's your name?"

"Jasper Hale, ma'am," said Jasper. "And you?" He was still, underneath the layers of vamp-scarred skin and inherent lust for blood, a Southern gentleman.

"Buffy Summers," she replied, raising an eyebrow at the "ma'am" but shrugging it off. "You, ah. So you know Edward."

"He is my adopted brother," Jasper nodded. "Or brother-in-law, I suppose."

"Brother-in-law?" Buffy asked, perplexed.

"Yes – you see, Alice is his adopted sister, and I am Alice's husband," Jasper explained. "And Rosalie is _my _adopted sister, and Emmett is her husband, so he is my brother-in-law, also. And Esme and Carlisle are our adopted parents."

"Uh-_huh_," Buffy nodded. "And you're all… sparkly?"

"Yes," Jasper confirmed.

The conversation ended there, and Angel led them the rest of the way to the factory's tunnel entrance in silence. He personally couldn't believe that the glittery vampires had actually gone to the trouble to_ marry_; he and Darla had lived together as lovers for a century without thinking of it, and the only one he knew who put any stock by family titles in the vampire world was, incidentally, Drusilla, who had forever spoken of Grandmummy, Daddy and her darling boy when they'd been the Fearsome Foursome. And even then he hadn't thought anything of it – after all, it was _Drusilla, _crazy Dru.

They reached the factory entrance and stepped in, Buffy getting her weapons at the ready and handing a spare to Angel just in case. She didn't entirely trust Jasper with one. "Ssh," she whispered unnecessarily, motioning for Jasper to follow behind her. Angel led the way, listening for voices. He soon heard Drusilla's lilting murmur.

"Buffy, I think I'd better go in there alone," he said, barely audible. "It's not safe for you."

She rolled her eyes. "Chill, Angel. I'm not gonna stay and pick a fight. We're just here to play search and rescue, then we'll split."

"If I can distract them, you should get in and grab the girl," Angel declared. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"I think I can take care of myself," she muttered, folding her arms. He sighed, a sign of consent, and they inched towards the doorway that Drusilla's voice was sounding from, stopping still as they observed the scene playing out in front of them.

"_If you had just turned me, I would still be here, my love,_" Drusilla whispered, her hands on Edward's bare chest. Though her voice still fell in the same sing-song way, her words were decidedly less Dru-like: stiff and normal, unembellished. She ran her hands up to his cheeks, cupping his head in her hands. "_But they hurt me. Why didn't you save me?"_

"I would have, Bella – I am so, so sorry," Edward murmured.

"She's got him enthralled," Angel muttered, clenching his fists.

"Where's the girl?" Buffy whispered.

She was answered when Jasper darted out from behind them, lightning-fast, and dove for the pool of blood in which Bella's body lay. Despite his vegetarianism, he could not resist. This seemed to amuse Spike, who Buffy and Angel now noticed was standing nearby the chest of drawers with arms folded, watching the whole scene.

"If I'd known you would lick frosting from the bowl, I'd have saved you some of the cake," Spike smirked, raising an eyebrow. "Oi, but I thought you lot didn't go in for the human blood."

Jasper looked mildly horrified at his actions, and averted his eyes, standing up quickly. "N-no, sir, I don't. Least since joinin' up with Carlisle's brood."

"You'll have to forgive Jasper," Alice's voice drifted out from behind a dressing screen. "He can't help that he still craves human blood. He's only been surviving off of animals for – seventy-so years? It can be trying for the poor boy."

"Is that so," Spike chuckled.

"The Slayer is here," Alice announced lightly, still behind the screen, which she flung a black-and-white striped top over.

"Is _that _so!" Spike repeated, turning to face her and her glowering boyfriend. "Well, well, well. Look at that."

"We just came to save the girl," Angel said in his manly monotone.

"Everyone's about saving that little girl, aren't they," Spike said, grinning. "But everyone's just too late. Shame, isn't it. But you won't have to worry, Slayer, we didn't make her one of us or nothin'. You won't have to dust that pretty little bit tomorrow night."

"Gee, how that comforts me," Buffy snarked.

Alice emerged from behind the dressing screen, now clad in a long, flowing dress made of sky-blue silk, the top embroidered with tiny flowers. She also appeared to have applied makeup in the indeterminate amount of time she'd been back there, as her eyes were ringed in kohl and her lips, which now parted in a smile, were a decidedly darker red than before. "Jasper, my pet, you mustn't tear this dress when you ravage me later. Mummy Dru was kind enough to give it to me but it was dreadful expensive."

Jasper, Buffy and Angel all blinked in shock and confusion.

"Is she still at work?" Alice asked Spike, coming to stand by him and tilting her head curiously.

"Yes, luv, she's gettin' as much outta the prat as she can," Spike smirked.

"_It was selfish of you not to turn me, Edward my love," _Drusilla whispered, staring Edward right in his unblinking topaz eyes. "_We could have been together forever._"

"I promise, I will go offer myself to the Volturi in penance, and if there is an afterlife for the soulless and damned, I will pray to see you there," Edward said.

Alice and Spike both giggled.

"Um, hate to break up your fun, but this is the part where I kick your sorry little ass," Buffy declared, folding her arms.

"Doesn't happen that way," Alice chirped cheerfully. "You fight but nobody gets hurt. You and your boyfriend flee. Everyone's safe. No dust or decapitation tonight – I hate to ruin your plans, Slayer, but I've already seen it, you understand?"

Buffy stared blankly at the tiny little mini-Dru.

"Alice, we must save Edward," Jasper said.

"Save him? From what? Mummy Dru is just playing, silly boy," Alice giggled. "She's already tried her sticks and stones, but only words can hurt him."

"_That's _Alice?" Buffy exclaimed. "_That's _your wife?"

"She is not usually so –" Jasper frowned, trying to think of the word.

"Crazed?" Buffy offered.

"Now, Slayer, you mustn't call Dru's new dolly crazed," Spike cautioned. "She might be one'a the shimmery kind, but she's tough. Ain't that right?"

"Oooo, it is," Alice agreed, grinning. "Jasper, Edward meant to sell me out, did you know? It's an awfully good thing he didn't realize how kindly Mummy Dru would take to me. Even her Spike likes me, and he never takes to fledges. Course, I'm not a fledge in that sense – won't you be introduced properly? Jasper, this is Spike, and Spike, this is Jasper, my husband, my love."

Jasper nodded awkwardly at Spike, who returned the gesture, smirking all the while.

"What_ever_," Buffy groaned. "I'm just going to assume Alice here is suffering from some warped Stockholm thingy and get her the hell out of here so her honey is happy."

"Don't forget about the boy," Angel reminded her. "We aren't leaving him down here with Drusilla and Spike."

"Fine," Buffy muttered, rolling her eyes. She moved to kick Spike in the head, and he quickly ducked, throwing a punch.

"Oi, Dru – snap out of it, we've got unwelcome guests," Spike called out. After a moment, Drusilla whipped her head around, staring at the fight that was breaking out around them. Edward blinked, shocked and confused now that he was released from his trance. Buffy threw Alice across the room, and she happened to land against Drusilla, who smiled widely.

"Alice-dolly, you look like a proper lady, now, you've made Mummy proud," she said.

Dru then went to grab another vial of holy water and toss it in Angel's face. His skin smoked for a moment, but he dodged the brunt of it. Meanwhile, Jasper yanked the chains apart with his vampiric strength, freeing Edward, and shoved him out the door. Alice watched with a pout.

"Don't want to go, Jasper, my pet, we've barely begun to play," she said, frowning. "We haven't even had tea."

"Alice, _come on_," Jasper muttered, shuttling her away.

She turned to call out, "Mummy Dru, thank you for your hospitality – I know I shan't be away long, I'm dreadfully sorry I have to leave like this –" and must have continued rambling as Jasper pulled her away. Once Buffy and Angel knew the coast was clear, they delivered final blows and followed the three shiny vampires out, Angel stopping to pick up Bella's body and carry it out with him.

"Shame," Drusilla frowned. "Mean boys, ruining my Alice-dolly's fun. We were going to make decorations of little precious."

***

"So you just… left them?" Xander asked the next day. The Scoobies were striding through the outdoor hallways of Sunnydale High, listening to Buffy retell the events of the previous night.

"Well, they weren't going to hurt anyone," Buffy shrugged. "Once we got them back to the motel, their so-called 'father' showed and herded them inside. Said he wouldn't let them make any more trouble. He actually _apologized _for their behavior. And I heard him telling Alice to 'wipe that stuff off her lips.'"

"Blood?" Willow questioned, wide-eyed.

"Lipstick," Buffy smirked. "The father seemed pretty – conservative, you could say. He wasn't going to take kindly to his daughter tramping up Dru-style."

"Geez," Cordelia muttered unhelpfully. "Stick up his ass much?"

"Cordelia, I hardly think that's the issue at hand," Giles said, raising an eyebrow. "As long as they've gone, I'd say we can stop worrying about them. Vampires though they may be, they seem – fairly harmless."

"Giles, Jasper went for the blood quick as he saw it," Buffy reminded him. "He's still a killer at heart. And Alice – much more time with Drusilla and she'd have been full-on loopy too."

"Yes, well – that may be," Giles fretted. "However, they've gone, yes?"

"Saw them drive away in their dumb silver cars," Buffy confirmed.

"So they are no longer our problem, I'd say," Giles nodded.

"Well, look at you, throwing caution to the wind," Xander chuckled. "Guess as long as they're not gonna turn out to be the big bad _here_, we're safe."

"What_ever_," Cordelia groaned. "Look, the walking disco balls are gone, can we stop rehashing?"

"It's important to learn from our experiences, Cordelia," Giles scolded.

"This was hardly educational," Cordelia shot back. "I mean, unless you're planning on testing us – ew. Please don't take that as a suggestion. I get enough of that in my real classes."

"And it worries you _so _much, then," Xander snarked.

"Yeah, well –"

Waving goodbye with amused smiles, Buffy and Willow parted ways from the others, on their way to their French class. "You really think they're gone?" Willow asked.

"I hope so," Buffy said.

"They were pretty durable, even if you did beat 'em up pretty bad," Willow noted thoughtfully.

"It's not even that," Buffy admitted. "Sure, fighting them was a pain, but what was even worse was _listening _to them. Especially Edward. God, that wimp _never _stopped whining."

Buffy let out a sigh, then turned to look at her best friend. They raised their eyebrows at each other, smirking, then broke into fits of laughter as they made their way up the stairs.

***

"That wasn't the last of them," Dru murmured, running a tiny brush through Miss Edith's blonde curls. "They'll be back. They want to see the light bounce off their shimmery skin, to feast as they were born to do. My Alice-dolly would never turn on me so quick."

"'Course not, princess," Spike muttered, sliding onto the bed next to her. "Don't worry your pretty head about it, hmm?"

"Mmm – never worry, Spike my pet – it shall come to be soon enough."


End file.
